Tag Archives: gratitude

18Sep/18

Remarkable people

This is a short blog about importance of remarkable people for the world and for individuals such as you and me.

Remarkable people inspire us

We all know of, or know remarkable people. They may be your gran, your teacher, your wife, a mentor or someone you read about or listen to in person or on the web. On looking closely you will often notice that such people don’t consider themselves remarkable at all. They just do what they do and love it.

A couple of life’s rules

Immediately I can think of five remarkable people who I know. As soon as I visualise them individually or as a group I notice how my emotional state changes. There are two reasons that follow a couple of life’s rules. Firstly, that what you focus upon determines how you feel, and secondly that we adopt the standards of those around us. What can you learn from this?

There are a few things you can take away.

  1. Choose carefully what you decide to focus upon — what is your picture of success?
  2. Choose carefully who you hang out with and are influenced by

A simple exercise

Try it now. Close your eyes and think of a remarkable person that you know. Someone who inspires you. Feel what happens in you. Now ask that person a question. Something you are puzzling over or tangling with. What do they say and how do they say it? Are they kind and warm? Listening deeply and understanding? They should be if they are remarkable people. Don’t worry if the image is fragmented or unclear, it is the intent and purpose and awareness of the feelings that are important.

Gratitude

Building upon this we can simply express gratitude for such people, aspiring to take on their qualities in us. Again, notice what happens when you do this. Feel the state of gratitude emerge in you. There is a potent biology at play. Everything has a biology.

Further, you could choose to write to the remarkable people who you know and express thanks for the way that they inspire you.

Enjoy and be wise in who you spend time with in person and in your (embodied) mind.


These are two of many practices and tools you learn in The Pain Coach Programme to live life and overcome pain, or on your road to mastery as a clinician 

12Jun/18
Having fun and practicing the art of joy balancing by the sea

The art of joy

the art of joy balancing by the sea

Our approach to life flavours the moment. As time unfolds, my experience rolls out as a unified sense of my body, my thoughts and my dialogue within an environment that I am shaping, all likely through prediction. So where does this approach, or set of rules come from? What is the effect? And how can I use my approach to be successful and live the life that I want? How can I choose to practice the art of joy?

Simply put, my beliefs and convictions about myself and life are sculpted from an early age by parents, care-givers, teachers, friends and society to name a few. Of course this is on-going as we update our beliefs with new knowledge and experience. What I practice then, are conditioned patterns that I don’t really think about as I am living the experience of those patterns as they come to fruition.

You may feel hence that there’s little control over these patterns. I would argue not. Instead, on realising which beliefs are limiting and which empower, I can practice and fortify the latter having disrupted the former. Overcoming chronic pain is all about this, whilst focusing upon what you want in life.

Many people continue to use the same patterns over and over. That’s when life feels the same everyday. Groundhog Day. But, on discovering that you have a potent skill that can transform your life, you realise that this does not need to be the way. What is that skill? You maybe surprised to learn about this amazing resource that you already have!

What is it that affects the quality of your life? It is the decisions you make, moment to moment through the day, every day. Not the big ones, the little ones. Here’s a question. What decision could you make right now to change your life? Pause for a couple of minutes and think about this before reading on.

Pause……..

Here’s an example: I decide to commit to a programme of daily exercise and movement to build my body’s strength, resilience and mobility. Would that change your life? Of course! This decision of commitment you then follow by taking action and gathering momentum by deciding each day when and how you will exercise, together with how you will integrate movements into your day to nourish your body at regular intervals.

Decision-making is one of our greatest powers. When you decide that you want to transform your suffering into a life of joy, everything changes. How? You may well ask! I’m in pain all the time, I have hardly any money, I have no work and all the other reasons why we can suffer. The problem lies in the fact that when we focus on these thoughts and the dialogue is littered with words that magnify the suffering states (pain, anxiety, worry, anger, frustration), then we use all our energy on the very things we don’t want. On deciding to focus on what we do want, we can start taking the steps to get results.

I want to be able to walk to the shop. I want to play with the kids. I want to play the piano. I want to play football. I want to bend over and put on my shoes. I want to feel joy. I want to go back to work. When we make it clear, carving out a vision of success, we have a direction.

This is what we can decide to do before creating a plan that we follow each day, taking steps in that direction. Of course we will have moments of suffering when there is pain, anxiety or things go wrong, but the more we can build resilience and choose an approach that is driven by the notion of life happening FOR me, rather than to me, we take the ups and downs as opportunities to learn, persevere and grow. One of our needs in life is growth without which we stagnant. And that’s not a good place! So, I can decide that I am going to drive growth in my approach. You can decide that right now. But where are you going?

What is your picture of success? Write it down in the following space:

** Remember that this is what you want, so use positive language and feel it whilst you are writing; make it real.

My picture of success is:

 

 

 

Another human need is giving. In particular the giving of ourselves and time to those we care about, which has such a huge effect upon both the self and the receivers. Generosity has also been named as one of the skills of being well by Richard Davidson, the neuroscientist who has been studying wellness.

The art of joy, which is the title of this brief blog, most certainly incorporates giving and generosity from which flows joy amongst other great states. How does the world look when you are feeling joy? How does your body feel when you experience joy? What decisions do you make when you are in a state of joy? Who creates the state of joy? You! We can decide that whatever each day presents to us, we will face it with joy together with compassion (including self-compassion), love and other potent states.

Suffering states inevitably arise. That is normal in life. Yet how we approach life determines what it is like and how long we stay in that state. Deciding to use an approach whereby we recognise the triggers of a suffering state and then change gear using breathing, gratitude, or movement. There are many ways to change state, but these are common ones I teach people who come for coaching and treatment to overcome chronic pain or achieve peak performance.

The art of joy then, is about what you put into life. As a general rule, what we put out there with purpose and intent comes back. A simple example: when you predominantly smile at people, how do you feel? How do they respond? What is life like? When you put a scowl into the world, what comes back? The art of joy and joyful living is all about your approach, which in turn emerges from your beliefs or set of rules. This is why important work involves identifying your beliefs, both the ones that cause us to suffer and the ones that enable us to thrive.

Depending upon your start point, this can of course be a challenge. If your health is compromised, if you are out of work, if you have lost someone close or perhaps just not reached your potential, it can seem impossible to be grateful for the world, nature, your breath, your eyesight or whatever. However, it is possible and with a picture of what you want to achieve, with steps to take, practices and tools to use, you can decide right away that you want something different now. You have suffered enough and its time for change.

I am very privileged in that each day I get to work with people who want to transform their lives and fill it with joy, love and compassion instead of suffering. As I’ve said, of course we will suffer for a range of reasons, but we just don’t want to stay in that state too long. We want to be able change gears as quickly as possible because shifting into a high energy or joyful state means that our decisions are made with clarity, purpose and in line with our picture of success. It becomes clear what we CAN do.

The Pain Coach Programme is designed to give people the (working) knowledge, skills, tools and treatment to overcome their pain and suffering by living life. Results driven, the programme is all about gaining momentum behind progress and growth from pain to purpose to performance. This is a solution for people who want to make changes, who want to live well and perform their best in life whether it be overcoming pain, achieving success in exams or work or on the sports field by using your resources and strengths.

Call us now to book your first session: 07518 445493 ~ Jo will make all the arrangements for you

13Mar/17

3 ways to ease suffering

We all suffer. Suffering is part of living and so is unavoidable. There are many reasons for suffering and they are unique to that person and the way that they view life. The Oxford Dictionary defines suffering as “The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship”. We are all subject to these states regardless of age, gender, culture or class. In fact, we could say that humanity is connected by the universal experience of suffering. Bearing this in mind and essentially normalising suffering as part of life, it would be prudent to develop some skills that allow us to face suffering, transform, learn about, and ease it. Here are 3 ways to ease suffering.

These are simple practices for everyone that can be integrated into day to day life. Moment to moment awareness creates the opportunity to practice healthy habits resulting in living well.

Acceptance

Accepting what is happening right now dissolves any resistance. Resistance results in suffering because we are not happy with how we are or where we are or what we have. This is a common cause of discomfort and resistance can certainly drive tension and pain in the body. Accepting is NOT giving up. Instead it is actively being open to what exists now as a lived experience, allowing it to transform as it always does with each passing moment. Acceptance allows us to move forward in a chosen direction whereas resistance does not.

Mindful practice

There are simple mindful practices that give us insight into the way we think and feel, help us to be acceptant, allow us to let go of unhelpful thoughts and to be open to experiences as they unfold. By the very nature of these practices, a sense of well being emerges as we fully engage with the joys of life as well as think clearly about how to surmount the inevitable challenges we face. Here are a few examples:

  • take 4-5 slightly deeper breaths at regular intervals during the day, being fully aware of the ‘in’ and ‘out’
  • pay full attention to what you are doing, whatever that happens to be
  • formal practice of mindfulness meditation ~ this is best done with a coach or instructor to start, or in a group
Practicing gratitude

There are great benefits of practicing gratitude as a skill of well-being. Next time you are feeling glum, in pain, feeling anxious, try thinking about something you are grateful for. This does not need to be anything momentous, instead something more day to day such as the clothes on your back, the sun in the sky or a text from a friend. It needs to have some kind of meaning to you. Practicing gratitude can change the way we relate to an issue of concern. We release some important and healthy chemicals by actively generating the feeling (the feeling is underpinned by those chemicals as best we know), which creates the conditions for more clarity. Clarity of thought means we can focus on the thinking/actions that can result in face a challenge successfully.

The Pain Coach Programme to overcome pain and to live well | t. 07518 445493