Many thanks for Gillian’s story | back pain and mindfulness
MY PAIN STORY – GILLIAN WESTON
I am always a busy person; I play short mat bowls several times a week and have represented my County and England, I run a Junior session for bowls, I love to swim and I am a member of Horsham Rock Choir. I use a computer as the main part of my job of Practice Manager for a charity.
My problems began in 2010 when I slipped on some ice and inadvertently tried to break my fall with my left arm. I had restricted movement and upper arm nerve pain but after some physio my situation improved.
In Dec 2012 I developed pain in both arms after lifting a heavy object at work. I was referred for physio in Jan 2013 when I was diagnosed with tennis elbow in my right arm and shoulder impingement/tennis elbow in the left. After some exercises my right arm improved but I had further physio in the following months for my left arm. During this time the worst aspect was the nerve pain from my elbow to my hand – no painkillers relieved it, and I was in constant pain with or without movement, even scratching my face or lifting a kettle were agony!
In September 2013 when I was still in a lot of pain and had a further condition added – ulnar nerve entrapment – I was given 2 steroid injections. There was an improvement but of course the underlying problems were still there and in January 2014 there was a return of my intense pain. A further course of steroids followed, but the actual injection was excruciatingly painful and I was left with numbness in my ring finger. I was pain free until Nov 2014 when I moved a pot in the garden and experienced a twinge in my elbow, the problem was exacerbated when I used a simple screwdriver in Dec at work and I ended up in the worst pain I had had for some time.
By Jan 2015 I was at the end of my tether and rather than go the NHS route saw a physio who I knew privately. She felt that my neck was also the cause of my problem plus bad posture. Her approach was more holistic and she gave me some acupressure to try and calm me down from my very distressed state. She even suggested counselling as she was concerned about my mental health as a direct result. I was at various times loaned a TENS machine, given ultrasound and massaged. She helped me address by posture and gave discussed calming techniques. She discussed with me how my mental state was affecting my pain but I was sceptical about this at the time and more or less dismissed it. There was a degree of improvement in my condition over the following month thanks to the new physiotherapist but I was still struggling day to day.
During all these periods in and out of pain I have had to stop playing bowls and going swimming, use my right hand more – particularly with the mouse at work, been unable to sleep on my left side, been restricted doing the dance moves at choir, and not been able to do many day to day things that I used to take for granted.
In March 2015 I attended Heathrow Airport with Horsham Rock Choir where Georgie Standage my choir leader and Richmond Stace were hosting an event for UP. I took one of the flyers and did my research via the UP website. I found the videos very interesting – in particular the one explaining how “all pain comes from the brain” (Lorimer Moseley). I took particular interest too in the mindfulness videos. But I also found the written information really useful too. Over the following weeks I used mindfulness apps and also ‘talked’ myself out of pain. When I felt pain I closed my eyes and tried to focus on other parts of my body; if I hit my weakened elbow (as I do frequently!) I told myself that it was fine, it would hurt for a while and then I’d be OK. I used Mindfulness to keep me calm and I found that my nerve pain lessened in the weeks that followed.
By May I was able to resume my bowls for short periods to use my mouse at work left handed, do my Rock Choir moves without pain and return to swimming. Significantly I can sleep for periods on my left side without pain – which I haven’t done for a long time!
It is now July 2015 and I have been pain free for just over 3 months–other than the odd elbow bash! I do get the occasional twinge, and very interestingly if I am stressed about anything I get a bit of nerve pain in my arm! Looking back some of the worst pain ties in with significant stressful times in my life. I am still wary and careful about exacerbating things, but importantly I feel that “yes I do have pain sometimes, but pain doesn’t have me”. I am indebted to UP for giving me my life back, and I continue to use the techniques I have learnt – in particular the Mindfulness Breathing – to keep me calm and in control.